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Friday, October 14, 2011
Mass Effect 3 Mulitplayer???
So first it started as rumor and now it seems it is true..... I am highly disappointed and was hoping it is a rumor. Mass Effect games were some of the greatest stroy driven games I have ever played. I am truly excited for the third entry but not excited for the recently true rumor that multiplayer mode was added. It is not deal breaker but still seems like it is unnecessary. It is like adding sugar on top of cake that is already loaded with it, just don't do it unless you want to have some serious problem down the road.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Happy Coming Out Day and my story
Today is October 11th and its coming out day. Celebration for the GLBT community and people who are still in the closet who need courage. Two years ago I came out on December 18th. It was a day I knew thing would change and I would not look back. Standing here today I can say I feel so much happier with myself and thanks the people who stood there for me in a hour of need.
So when did I realize that I was gay? I realize around middle school during I say around 12. I never felt attraction to the opposite sex, and I use to hang around girls and I felt more comfortable talking to them instead of dating them. I felt attraction towards boys and I was always that kid who never felt like I belonged in a group of friends. Sometimes I would hint that I was gay but not enough to alienate my friends. Then in high school I tried to date a girl I knew for years before since elementary school. We ended up dating for a year or so but I felt like something was missing. When we broke up then reality started to sink in, I was scared to out myself in high school and get ridiculed more. I felt more secure during my junior and senior year in high school because I participated with theatre classes and shows. When we did the musical in spring though I felt more defensive because I did not want to sing nor dance because it would make me seems more obvious. But I look back now and wondering what the hell was I thinking. One day after one of plays were done, we had a cast party and I overheard a cast member coming out to a couple of friends and he was one of my friends I felt I wanted to say the same but it was his moment.
After graduating and having more time to think and realizing I was getting unhappy and ill tempered way to quick. It was all because I was trying to bury my sexuality and got stressed out more. Then I snapped and realize it was time to stop and come forth with a secret that was killing me. December 18th I told my sister first and foremost, she was happy for me and then came the rest of my family. It was better than depicted but still had some hostility. Next was to tell some close friend, some were shocked others were just telling me just be yourself. Then stupidest and ballsiest thing I did was announce it over my facebook...... Yeah I realized what I did but I was in that state of mind where I did not care what happened. Some friend took my side and other remain nameless to me now. I still feel as though not a lot are cool with it. Some family relationships did get destroy but you know are there for you and how are not.
One thing I want to address and it rather personal, don't make people feel abandoned. I see kids and teens kill themselves over kids bullying for being different or just trying to fit in. It does not matter if they are gay nor straight no kid should ever feel torment and punishment from others who think it is funny and with repercussion for the actions they transpired. I had my moments where I just hated myself and felt like suicide was the only option but let me tell you "things did get better". I been through the path of being laughed at for being fat and teased because I kept to myself. But no kid or teen should go through that in school. It sickens me to hear teacher nor faculty do nothing about it when a kid is contemplating suicide and rejection. When I see people down I try to help out. It just my nature to do that, so when you she some adolescent down on there luck talking to them could make a big impact on there future. But I hope more people have courage to stand up and overcome obstacles of school bullying. If teens or kids reading don't make anyone feel rejected.
After getting that out of the way I will be doing more updates on my blog. I know it take me awhile but I get writer's block a lot ^.^ So here to coming out and feeling proud and celebrating today.
So when did I realize that I was gay? I realize around middle school during I say around 12. I never felt attraction to the opposite sex, and I use to hang around girls and I felt more comfortable talking to them instead of dating them. I felt attraction towards boys and I was always that kid who never felt like I belonged in a group of friends. Sometimes I would hint that I was gay but not enough to alienate my friends. Then in high school I tried to date a girl I knew for years before since elementary school. We ended up dating for a year or so but I felt like something was missing. When we broke up then reality started to sink in, I was scared to out myself in high school and get ridiculed more. I felt more secure during my junior and senior year in high school because I participated with theatre classes and shows. When we did the musical in spring though I felt more defensive because I did not want to sing nor dance because it would make me seems more obvious. But I look back now and wondering what the hell was I thinking. One day after one of plays were done, we had a cast party and I overheard a cast member coming out to a couple of friends and he was one of my friends I felt I wanted to say the same but it was his moment.
After graduating and having more time to think and realizing I was getting unhappy and ill tempered way to quick. It was all because I was trying to bury my sexuality and got stressed out more. Then I snapped and realize it was time to stop and come forth with a secret that was killing me. December 18th I told my sister first and foremost, she was happy for me and then came the rest of my family. It was better than depicted but still had some hostility. Next was to tell some close friend, some were shocked others were just telling me just be yourself. Then stupidest and ballsiest thing I did was announce it over my facebook...... Yeah I realized what I did but I was in that state of mind where I did not care what happened. Some friend took my side and other remain nameless to me now. I still feel as though not a lot are cool with it. Some family relationships did get destroy but you know are there for you and how are not.
One thing I want to address and it rather personal, don't make people feel abandoned. I see kids and teens kill themselves over kids bullying for being different or just trying to fit in. It does not matter if they are gay nor straight no kid should ever feel torment and punishment from others who think it is funny and with repercussion for the actions they transpired. I had my moments where I just hated myself and felt like suicide was the only option but let me tell you "things did get better". I been through the path of being laughed at for being fat and teased because I kept to myself. But no kid or teen should go through that in school. It sickens me to hear teacher nor faculty do nothing about it when a kid is contemplating suicide and rejection. When I see people down I try to help out. It just my nature to do that, so when you she some adolescent down on there luck talking to them could make a big impact on there future. But I hope more people have courage to stand up and overcome obstacles of school bullying. If teens or kids reading don't make anyone feel rejected.
After getting that out of the way I will be doing more updates on my blog. I know it take me awhile but I get writer's block a lot ^.^ So here to coming out and feeling proud and celebrating today.
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